One Day

That's all it takes is one day.

Have you ever had one of those days? Good or bad?

That kind of day where everything changes. On April 29, 2014, I first felt/heard God calling me to New Orleans. My life changed that day. On December 15, 2007, I left on my first trip to East Asia. My life changed that day. On July 26, 2006, my grandfather died. My life changed that day. Every time one of these days happen, you have to re-frame everything. It's almost like you're looking out of a different and brand new lens. Like before the lens was blue but that one day brought in red which made the lens turn purple. Nothing looks the same when the lens has shifted. Because either something has been taken away or something has been added. But no matter what has happened, it alters everything.

For some of you, everything changed when you lost a loved one, when you met your spouse, when you started college, when you lost your job, when you had a child, or when you made a big move. These days don't happen every day. And you never know when these days are gonna happen. You wake up one morning thinking everything is going to be the way it was yesterday, then boom. Everything changes.

We all have both kinds in our memory. The good life-changers. The bad life-changers. Maybe even the mediocre life-changers. God has been reminding me that as I wait for His plans, everything can change in one day.

All it takes is one day.

It can be hard waiting. Dr. Seuss and God are my two favorite authors on waiting. I take God's writing on waiting a little more seriously than I do Dr. Seuss but there's no denying that Dr. Seuss had a point when he wrote about the waiting place.

You can get so confused that you'll start into race down long wiggled roads at break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place. 

The Waiting Place ...

... for people just waiting. Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. 

Everyone is just waiting. 

Are you waiting? What are you waiting for? Are you waiting for graduation? Are you waiting for a job? Are you waiting for a miracle? Are you waiting for love? Are you waiting for a child?

There is waiting in every stage of life. I think the part where Dr. Seuss got it wrong was calling the waiting a place a useless place. I don't believe God considers it a waste at all. I believe that is when God is most at work in the waiting place.

The waiting place doesn't have to be useless. The waiting place can be a time of sweet fellowship with God and even those who are walking the same path as you. I have been immensely blessed with how God has literally figuratively thrown other singles or couples in my path to strengthen, encourage, and bless me. I could not even name all of those people. The list is too long.

But I long for that one day. Not just any one day. That one day where I meet my husband and everything changes. I'm not ashamed of this longing. I'm not embarrassed of this longing. I was created with this longing. Sometimes I long quietly and happily with a divine sense of contentment. And sometimes I long like a three year old who just didn't get their way with a full-fledged crying tantrum {don't lie ... you know you've had those too}. Here recently I've unfortunately been more on the three year old end of longing which we could also call demanding.

Someday we will celebrate Christ's unwillingness to give in to our demands --- even when our begging broke His heart. He is working the greater work. Still, He has overwhelming compassion for our pain and confusion. Christ doesn't grow impatient and wonder how we can be so foolish to hurt over earthly losses. he doesn't even sigh and whisper, "If you only knew." His heart bleeds with mercy, and He comes to our aid. Oh, beloved, can you trust a heart like His? {Beth Moore, Whispers of Hope}

But then I read that quote. It was like a tidal wave that swept over my heart drying my tears and silencing the lies. He does care. He does know. He does hear. He does see me. He does love me.

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." {Psalm 27:14, NIV}

I believe He wants that one day for me more than I want it for myself. God delights in seeing his children happy. But He also delights in His children finding joy while we wait for that one day.

The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who WAIT for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not be faith." {Isaiah 40:28-31, ESV}

I may be in the waiting place, but I wait with anticipation of God fulfilling my every desire in HIM. Did you read that right? I didn't say that I wait with anticipation of God fulfilling MY every desire. I wait in anticipation of God fulfilling my every desire in HIM and HIM alone. Because even if/when that one day does come, it won't fulfill my every desire. Only He can do that.

Fear, Foothold, & Flood

Let me just connect these three words for you. It's a process that begins with the smallest fear. Just an inkling of fear creeping in the recesses of your mind. That tiniest doubt sneaking into your heart. It all starts with fear.

But not just having fear. We all have fears, right? I'm not even gonna attempt to list my fears from over the years. Let's just leave it at one word. Chucky. That is the first thing I remember being truly fearful of. Weird, right? Seems rather unlikely that this fear would ever be actualized, but we're talking about the mind of 6 year old here. So of course it wasn't a rational fear. Most of my fears have never been rational. For instance, I am to this day scared of terrified of frogs. Completely irrational. Honestly cannot even tell you why I am afraid of them. So fears. We all have them.

But when fear gets a foothold, it starts out oh so minute. The fear sees the opportunity to immobilize us. To insure we are as ineffective as possible as children of God.

That fear builds and builds. Kind of like a beaver building a dam in a creek at my grandparent's farm. My grandfather hates loathes those beavers because they clog up the creek and keep the water from flowing down wherever it's supposed to go. I'd have to do some more research here to be accurate, but I know that when the water flow is cut off, it affects the whole farm. It can be disastrous and cuts off all water supply. It doesn't take a farmer or a genius to know that a cut off water supply costs lives.

So here I am {the creek} with the life-blood of Jesus {the water} flowing through me, and that one little fear {branch/log #1} creeps into my heart {the center of the creek bed}. The fear starts out so small and almost unnoticeable at first that it's hidden away unknown to everyone around me and possibly including me. It seems harmless and only hinders the flow of water {Jesus} slightly. There you have the introduction of the foothold. The opportunity for complete takeover.

That beaver keeps building a bigger, stronger dam which will stop up every bit of water running through that creek. The same goes with the fear. It has built itself into a life of its own strangling out the very voice of Jesus calling me to trust Him. There's only one way to remove that beaver dam, but we'll get back to that in a minute. 

But the foothold has now turned into an impending flood. Let's switch illustrations for a second to finish the connection of fear to foothold to flood. If you're familiar with Mississippi, I grew up north of Jackson in Grenada which is pretty much only known for gangs, drugs, and Grenada Lake. {side note: slight sarcasm} Grenada Lake is known for the Dam .... and Thunder on Water but that's beside the point. I grew up going out to the lake for church events, recreation, etc and the dam was a sight to see. I'll never forget one day seeing the water rushing over that dam with a force like I had never seen. Needless to say, you didn't want to be in its path of fury. This to me is what happens when we allow even the slightest of foothold from our fear. The dam is built and the water is being obstructed from flowing. The water builds and builds until one day the flood comes. That reservoir of fear had been just waiting in anticipation of breaking loose and taking with it all trust in God right along with the strong current.

What fear is it that I'm allowing to bring God-drought into my life? The fear plaguing me at the moment is a troublesome one. Can I trust God in this stage of my life? Like really trust Him? With everything? Through it all? Will I choose to trust Him or will I live in fear?  For the past eight, long months, the dam has been building, but I'm choosing to forgo the former flood I mentioned and choose my grandfather's dam-breaking solution. Dynamite.

Yep, you read that right. D-y-n-a-m-i-t-e. I'm done letting fear obstruct the water {Jesus} flowing through me. I'm taking it head-on and putting some dynamite to it. The question is will I continue to allow my trust to move further and further away from God, or will I stop it in its tracks and place my trust back where it belongs. Insert dynamite. My grandfather loves sticking dynamite to those beaver dams, and I think I am gonna enjoy taking dynamite to my fear as well. I want to trust. For those practical thinkers like  me out there, you may be thinking {like me} what exactly is the dynamite. It's God's Holy Word. This is my dynamite.

"I will fear no evil for you are with me" Psalm 23:4
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart" Proverbs 3:5-6
"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts" Isaiah 26:3
"But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior" Micah 7:7
"Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me, you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men" Matthew 16:23
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace" John 16:33
"Do not be anxious about anything" Philippians 4:6-9
"Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way" 2 Thes 3:18

We were not made to live in fear but in freedom.
We were not made to dwell in anxiety but in peace.

No more fear / / only trust.