Why have I not been called?
What could possibly be taking so long?
Did I miss my name?
Was I forgotten altogether?
There wasn't an interesting enough book on the planet that was gonna distract me from the fact that two hours had passed and my name was yet to be called. I am hugely non-confrontational, so you know if I confront someone/thing, it's gotten serious. I walked up to the desk and //politely// asked what on earth was going on. She assured me that it wouldn't be much longer. By this point, I was internally distraught. My mind racing about all the things I needed to be doing. All the places I had to get to afterwards. All the time I was wasting sitting there WAITING.
What in the world is happening right now?
Where is he?
Why is this so unfair?
Does anybody see what I'm going through right now?
Finally, my name was called. Once I got back into the exam room, almost all of my anxiety dissipated, but I still didn't understand why on earth I had to wait so long. It wasn't until the doctor came in and started talking that I understood. He asked me a million and one questions. Some pertinent to my medical issues. Some completely unrelated and just out of what seemed like curiosity or something. He took the time to talk to me and truly try and get to know me as a person. He wanted to know the full story of what brought me in to see him. He didn't just want to treat the symptoms but the full issue. It was like a light bulb coming on.
So there had been a reason for my waiting.
I hadn't been forgotten.
I hadn't been waiting for nothing.
Waiting stinks. Have you ever had those questions run through your mind when you're waiting? Maybe God has forgotten about me. Maybe He didn't even hear me. Maybe He doesn't care. Maybe He isn't going to call my name. Maybe He will never come through for me. Maybe He's gonna leave me here in this waiting place forever.
Those are lies straight from Satan. And I rebuke them for both you and me.
God sees us in the waiting. God knows our hearts. He wants to sit beside us in the waiting place and put an arm around our shoulders. He wants to embrace us and calm our anxious hearts. He wants to place a hand on our bouncing knee. He wants to quiet us with His presence and show us meaning in the waiting.
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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}
Jenna, this is beautiful! I have thought so many of those lies over the last year and a half as we wait and wait and wait some more for our adoption to be completed. Thank you for reminding me God is with us in the waiting. Can't wait to read the rest of your series!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Jessica! God has placed many families in my life who are adopting, and I have seen firsthand how hard the waiting can be. Thanks for commenting. It's so encouraging to see how God is using this topic not only to heal my heart but to speak to others' hearts.
DeleteI love your post- I'm not good at waiting either. I love the reminder of truth in your last paragraph- that God is with us in the waiting, and that he can use our times of waiting too.
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting!! Praise God that He does sit with us in the waiting!
DeleteLove this post! I lose that train of thought often and wonder why! But, then I realize that he has my every want and need in the palm of his hand! :)
ReplyDeleteAmen, friend! I'm right there with you!
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