Sunday, January 29, 2012

The Search is Over

"Not that I speak from want; for I have learned to be CONTENT in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Phil. 4:11-13

It has been a year since I started this journey of discovering my identity in Christ as a single woman in a "couples" world, and as I've said before, God has completely turned my world upside down. And praise God for that. Boy, did I need Him to bring me down from my imaginary world back to earth. I'm not saying it has been fun or pleasant, but it has been enlightening and a growing experience. I have found such a deeper relationship with God, and I would not trade that for an earthly marriage any day. This whole journey began with my small group's decision to read Lady in Waiting and subsequently discuss a chapter each week. I could not wait to get this book in my hands. I to this day cannot believe that I didn't start reading it until I was 21, because I think every girl in America should be required to read this gem inspired by no one other than God. No, it's not the Bible, but I fully believe that God uses this book to open the eyes of girls and draw them closer to Himself. Now back to not being able to wait to get this book in my hands ... I clearly had no idea how God was going to tear down every wall in my heart to rubble and begin rebuilding my heart to seek and desire Him before an earthly relationship. That first week I got the book, I couldn't put it down. I read the whole book through in about two weeks (which was in the middle of crazy huge amount of tests, assignments, and misc last semester of undergrad activities). Unfortunately, I read it so fast, and due to conflicts and unforeseen cancellations, our small group wasn't able to make it through the entire book, so I never went back to reread these last few chapters. It was no mistake that I was meant to go back and read this exact chapter at this exact time in my life. How stinkin' awesome is our God? I mean, come on. Sometimes I just don't have the words for how in awe of Him I am.

Lady of Contentment.

The mystery of contentment often seems to escape the understanding of the single woman. She assumes her circumstances justify her condition and give her permission to remain dissatisfied with her life assignment. Not having learned how to lay down the terrible burden of always wanting life to be on her terms, she continues to struggle with the torture of her desires. The restlessness caused by her desire for what she does not have makes waiting seem an impossible task. In fact, to the discontented woman, the word wait probably compares to a "cuss" word in her mind. A Lady in Waiting finds her capacity to wait for God's best to be rooted in contentment.

Sorry for the long quote, but there was just no way to paraphrase all the good stuff in there. The funny thing about all of this is that singles (not only including but especially me) assume the discontentment is found only in the state of singleness; however, this is so far from the truth, that is laughable. Married and single women suffer from discontentment alike. The mutual problem stems from our failure to find our contentment in God alone rather than men and earthly relationships. This chapter focuses in on one part of the story of Ruth and Boaz. If anyone had the right to be discontent, don't you think it would be Ruth? But instead of finding a discontented widow following her mother-in-law, you find a woman who is clinging to God in the worst of circumstances. Of course, we know the story well. Ruth goes to Boaz as her kinsman-redeemer, and he willingly offers to do anything he can for her due the rumors of her noble character. What's funny is that when Ruth goes back home to tell Naomi, Naomi doesn't start partying and planning the wedding. No, Naomi is careful to keep Ruth in check and remind her to stay grounded in her contentment in God.

Waiting ... "Such an assignment is not to cause suffering, but prevent it. Women experience so much needless pain when they run ahead of God's format."

Which leads to the Eleventh Commandment: Thou shalt not defraud thyself.

To Be Continued ...

Sunday, January 22, 2012

A Rambling Update

Well, after my last rant about my complete failure in life to be around Christian guys and not wonder if this one or this one or this one could possibly be my Prince Charming, I figured it would be best to give a quick update. Surprisingly or maybe not surprisingly, I got a HUGE reality check on the first night of the conference. I think my biggest problem is that I ASSUME that if a guy is at something like Passion, he must be a Godly man who is as passionate about living for Christ as I am, BUT I found this to be untrue. As we were walking up to Georgia Dome, we were surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of people, yet I picked up on a situation happening with some guys (note: I was probably the only person who people watches enough to even catch a moment like this). It was a sobering moment. It hit me straight in the face. Within minutes of being there, God had opened my eyes and reminded me that focusing on Him was the most important thing. After this short moment, I had no desire to jump to conclusions and go back to my assuming that every guy is a potential prince. PRAISE GOD!

God is good. God is amazing. God is awesome. God is great. God is wonderful. God is [insert any other possible adjective here]. I mean, seriously. I had no idea what was in store for me at this Passion conference. For so many years, I have wondered what Passion is all about, and I found out. It is ALL about GOD and how great He is. I learned so much, and God really convicted me of some things in my life. Let's just say to sum up my week at Passion ... WOW! That's it.

School has officially started, and despite my initial goals of getting a head start so as to prevent procrastination-induced stress, that's a negative. I've spent the whole weekend being largely unproductive; however, I have successfully planned a rockin' workshop for the Hearin High School Conference this next weekend. Let's just say I'm gonna give Curtis Zimmerman(the paid speaker) a run for his money with my Leadership world of Harry Potter and FREE butterbeer. I know I'm the coolest, right? haha.

On to my single adventures, I am ridiculously PUMPED for Valentine's Day ... Why, you ask? NOT because of some boy (although I would've settled for that too), but because that is the day that the live song video of How Great is Our God: World Edition will be dropping into my all-access account from Passion. I didn't mention this above, but that was probably the #1 highlight of Passion for me. I CAN'T WAIT! Not to mention that I am so blessed with the greatest love story of all. I don't know if you've heard of him or met him, but get this ... He sacrificed His life for me. He reminds me every day how much He loves me through little things like flowers, blue skies, and raindrops. He tells me how beautiful I am and that I was created in the image of God. He is a Prince whose father is the KING OF KINGS. He loves me at my worst and my best. He loves when I succeed and when I fail. He loves me when I cry and when I smile. His name is Jesus and guess what? the same goes for you. Go back and read all of those again, but every time you see you, me, or I, insert your name there, because we all have the same love story. What a wonderful thing.

Learning to love,
Jenna