The {Pride} Before the Fall

Jonah 3-4 SheReadsTruth

While reading chapter 4 of Jonah today, I became rather indignant that I would never expect God to treat anyone any different than me. Definitely not less. But better? Hmmm .... I didn't want my mind to go there. 

Jonah was angry. So angry {in fact} he would've rather died. {& girls are the dramatic ones?!?} okay. okay. kidding. God had mercy on such terrible and wicked people. But they needed salvation just as much as Jonah, right? Why was Jonah so angry? 

I could never relate to this story until today. God reminded me of how I'm just like Jonah. 

Now beware. This is the ugly side of me. The not pretty, not nice, not merciful side of me. That I'm anything but proud of. 

I've done everything possible to live my life by the book. Following the rules. Listening to my elders. Taking instruction. & so on & so on. I did everything right, so I should be rewarded with whatever I want, RIGHT??? 

This sounds even worse written out than it does in my head but here it goes:

I was obedient=I don't get a {insert boyfriend, skinny body, date, the list goes on}

Unnamed person is NOT obedient=She gets a {insert boyfriend, skinny body, date, etc} 

Here you are allowed to picture my 3 year old tantrum, because that is exactly what it is. 

I'm just like Jonah. Drowning in pity for myself & anger over things not going {my way}. Selfish, pitiful me. 

God's plans are bigger than my plans. His thought higher than my thoughts. Who am I? To judge? To decide? 

I'm not. 

But. 

I AM is. 

When I become prideful of what I have done, God has to use whatever measures necessary to bring me to my knees to remind me that He is the only one who has done anything. Scratch that. Everything. 

My precious God & Father, how I pray that my heart is moved into a position of gratitude and humility to become more of the woman you created me to be. 

What is {Lent} Anyway?

Lent never really made sense to this Baptist-raised Mississippi Girl. I had friends who did it, & every now & then I might attempt to give something up which only lasted for a few days really. I knew it had deeply spiritual meaning, but the problem was that I couldn't really see that lived out in the people who were partaking in it. Rarely had I ever seen anyone bear incredible fruit from their sacrifice of dr. pepper or chocolate {which can be done if done in the right way}. It was more like a parade of religious self-righteousness than humble worshipers.

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Participating in #SheReadsTruth devotionals each morning has given me a brand new view of Lent. One that I know will continue with me the rest of my life. This Lent season I will sacrifice something in the privacy of my heart, mind, & soul to help me grow in a more intimate way with the Lord Jesus while also reflecting on the beautiful season of Easter approaching. Oh to dwell in the presence of God & marvel over all He has done. 

Psalm 130 {HCSB}
Out of the depths I call to You, Yahweh!
Lord, listen to my voice; let Your ears be attentive to my cry for help.
Yahweh, if You considered sins, Lord. who could stand?
But with You there is forgiveness, so that You may be revered.
I wait for Yahweh; I wait and put my hope in His word.
I wait for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning --
more than watchmen for the morning. Israel, put your hope in the Lord.
For there is faithful love with the Lord, and with Him is redemption in abundance.
And He will redeem Israel from all its sins.

The promise I hear ringing in these words is "Redemption is coming." As we prepare our hearts for Easter & the celebration of victory over sin, I stand in awe of a God who knew long before it was to happen that He would send His only Son to redeem the world. 

Promise fulfilled. Redemption is here.

#SheSharesTruth
Check out some other awesome reflections on Psalm 130 here.

It's a Diet, It's a New Year's Resolution, NO, It's ...

CONVICTION.

Straight up. full-blown. Conviction.

On a regular basis, I get asked:
*why are you eating so healthy?
*why are you always working out?
*why aren't you eating any cake/dessert/candy?
*are you not going to eat something?
*don't you want a/an {insert some exceptionally tempting food}?

I get the questions are totally out of curiosity/concern/love, etc... but I never really know how to answer them. I'm not dieting. It's not a new year's resolution. It's pure conviction. & the reality is that no one really wants to hear that, because food/gluttony is such a socially acceptable sin amongst the church today.
Let me dive into some Scripture that surrounds my conviction:
*disclaimer: after each verse is my personal interpretation of the Scripture based on the Holy Spirit's leading/guiding during my quiet times & even potentially out of the typical context of the verses. God spoke to me through His Word and specifically targeted my area of sin/struggle.*

1 Corinthians 6:12 "'Everything is permissible for me'  -- but not everything is beneficial. 'Everything is permissible for me' -- but I will not be mastered by anything."

Whew ... this one gets me every time. But seriously. I was being mastered by food in my life. Is there really anything else to be said about that? It speaks for itself. Yes, we have to have food to eat {that's a fact}, so in the real world, food will be everywhere. All food is allowed but it's not all beneficial for my body. It is all permissible, but I can only serve one master. 

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."

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My brain organization of this one goes like this: So let me get this straight. My body is a temple ... everything I put into my temple either honors or dishonors God. Wowzers. Give me a second while I regain the feeling in my body. That just about knocks me out. The implications of that single verse is enough to make me never even want to eat again, but nevertheless, I've never been capable of being anorexic {so no worries on that front}

1 Corinthians 10:31-11:1 "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God -- even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved."

I can glorify God through what I eat & drink? Well, that changes the game a bit. I am constantly seeking God to find ways that I can glorify Him through everything I do but to know that I can do that with eating & drinking definitely adds a whole new meaning to what I'm doing. I want to glorify God through everything I do even down to the smallest of things. Nothing matters compared to the glory of God. The other side of this is that I want my actions {even eating & drinking} to point others to Christ so that maybe {just  maybe} they will come to know Him because of it. That's the whole meaning of my existence anyway. To be an example of Christ.

So that sums up the verses that led to my current conviction regarding my healthy lifestyle, but there has to be more. Being convicted is only one side of the coin, there's other side of it that requires some action. I had to figure out a way to fight the fight and defeat this struggle once & for all through Christ's strength.
Now I'll reveal my battle plan in Scripture:

1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

Jesus experienced every temptation that I am faced with hourly, daily, weekly, etc. My number one is to fight back with the word of God because it is alive and active, sharper than any two-edged sword. My God gave us a tool to fight temptation. Temptation for me doesn't come in public places. I'm so over cake and terrible foods at restaurants. I am my own worst enemy, & the real temptation for me comes when I am all alone. It's in those moments that God gives me a way out. He is faithful every time.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

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Fixing my eyes on Jesus. & Jesus only. The holy and most precious Word of God can satisfy my every desire & longing {including those for food}. It works. Fool-proof. 100% guaranteed. 

Sadly the overall state of health in the church is dismal. I'm so tired of feeling bad for eating healthy or feeling like I'm the one doing something wrong. I'm more than happy to talk about it if you're willing to hear my truthful answer. The reality is that it is insanely difficult to eat healthy in our society, and one meal gone wrong can completely throw me off for an entire week. I'm trying to avoid sin here, and the temptations are around every corner.

I have no desire to take on the topic of the obesity epidemic in the church in this blog post. What I do want to do is give an honest and open look at my heart's biggest struggle. I've lost this battle over & over & over again. I've cried myself to sleep over it more times than I can count. I have spent the majority of my life living defeated by this sinful lifestyle.

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The problem comes when I try to satisfy my body with food {or anything else other than Jesus aka marriage, money, status}. If only I stopped eating when I should, but I don't. I keep eating & eating. 

Here recently I've rediscovered a verse that I've always enjoyed but I've now found new meaning to it. 

When I truly feast on the Word of God, the taste of the Lord is so sweet & satisfying that I couldn't possibly even think of food or anything else. 

Every day I get up and put on the armor of God. I have to protect myself from the sin, the temptation, the world. Without God, I fail. With Him, I finally break free of these chains. 

No matter what area of my life God is working on, I'm continually learning that the answer to all my problems is: only Jesus can satisfy. 

Only Jesus. Not food. Not a guy. Not marriage. Not children. Not anything of this world. 

Only. Jesus.