All About That Grace

I need some grace today. I actually rarely give myself grace.

Not in this waiting process. Not in this life. period.

I hold myself to a really high bar of perfection, and when I fail, I give myself anything but grace.

I give myself a hard time. I give myself shame. I give myself lectures. I give myself extra pressure.

I don't know how to give myself grace. I'm usually pretty good at giving grace to others, but I don't allow any for myself.

This isn't the blog post I had planned for today. I had planned to follow up the story of Sarah with Rachel, but instead God is giving me a little lesson in grace.

God doesn't expect us to be perfect. He doesn't expect us to know how to figure this life out. That's what He is here for. That's what He wants for us. To rely on Him. To let Him take the lead. To just follow.

God knows our hearts, and He knows how much I want a husband and family. He is not blind to my heart's desires, but he also knows what's best for me despite my heart's desires.

I think there comes a point in the waiting that you have to give yourself some grace. Do what you gotta do. Grieve. Scream. Cry. Stomp your feet. Get it out. Pull the covers over your head. Just do it. That may or may not be what I'm doing at this exact moment since my life feels in complete disarray tonight. Waiting is hard, and no one is expecting you to do it perfectly. News flash, perfection isn't real. Only Jesus can do perfect.

I'm gonna redeem my waiting place today and give myself some grace. I hope you'll do the same today.

Because today, I'm all about that grace. {& yes, I'm singing that to the tune of a song I am not gonna name. you're welcome.}

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

Sarah Waited

I got a whole lot of love for Sarah. This woman knows roller coaster emotions. She knows fear. She knows uncertainty. She knows control issues. But for real. She knows waiting.

It all began in Genesis 12. God said // I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great.

Then in chapter 13. God said // Lift up your eyes where you are and look north and south, east and west. All the land that you see I will give to you and your offspring forever.

Chapter 15. Things get real between God and Abraham {I promise I'm getting to Sarah}. God is telling Abraham don't worry, but all Abraham could say was // what can you give me since I remain childless? You have given me no children; so a servant in my household will be my heir.

And then God said nope. It will be your son from your body. Your offspring will exceed the stars in the heavens.

Now I'm no mathematician, but simple math says zero children does not equal limitless stars in the heavens or countless grains of sand on the shore. But God made a promise. A covenant. An unbreakable and binding contract with the holy and living God.

I love Sarah. Because she did the exact thing I would've probably done. She heard God's promise and decided that she could figure this out on her own. She could just give her maidservant to Abraham and voila there's your heir and countless offspring.

How many times do I do this exact thing? I think I can plan out my life better than God. Especially when I think my insufficiencies make it impossible for God to come through with His promise. But the facade of control that I have constructed spins wildly out of control just like Sarah's plan did with Hagar and Ishmael.

But the best part is coming. Genesis 17. God said // As for Sarai your wife, you are no longer to call her Sarai; her name will be Sarah. I will bless her name and will surely give you a son by her. I will bless her so that she will be the mother of nations; kings of peoples will come from her.

And chapter 18 takes the cake. God again told Abraham Sarah would have a son in a year's time, and Sarah laughed. Not only did she laugh but then she lied. I don't know about y'all, but this sounds scary like someone else I know {me raising my hand}.

Have you ever waited for something for ninety years? Yeah, me neither. But when we look at Sarah's life, we don't see a picture of perfection. We see sinfulness. We see human nature. We see us.

Even when we are faithless in the waiting, God is faithful. Even when we doubt, God is certain of His plans. Even when we fear, God gives security. Even when we struggle, God comes alongside of us. 

The redemption of the waiting place comes in the form of God's promises fulfilled. Despite the scheming, planning, controlling, laughing, and lying, God fulfilled His promise to Sarah and Abraham.

Chapter 21. Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what He had promised.

God is faithful to keep His promises. So what promises has He made to us?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. 

He will be a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.  

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. 

The list goes on. God's promises to us are never-ending. We can count on those promises.

God has promised me so much, but one thing I can assure you He has not promised me and that is a husband. Nowhere in the Bible does God promise us any earthly thing, but He does promise us treasures in heaven for kingdom work done in this life.

I'm gonna stand on the promises God has made. And I'm gonna push on to do His work no matter the waiting place I am in.

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

Levels of Waiting

In my opinion, there are two different levels of waiting.

Waiting for planned/set moments | level one. Waiting for unknown/wanted moments | level two.

Level one can be tough. I'm thinking along the lines of 9 months to the baby's entrance into the world. Engagement to wedding day. Childhood to graduation day. Now until I get back on a plane to East Asia. First day of school to summer. These are things that will inevitably come. The waiting is a set amount of time. You can count down the days. This can be some crazy, hard waiting.

There's no downplaying that waiting. But ..

Level two has got some intensity to it that I don't even know if I can articulate on here. There's just something about waiting for something that you don't know will ever come. In level one, that baby is gonna come. summer will come. that graduation day will come. But there's not guarantee in level two. You just never know.

That's a whole different kind of waiting. I used to think level one waiting was hard. I really did. I thought graduation from high school would never come. Some days I think summer will never come back again. But there's something about watching those days ticking down on my Days Until app that encourages me. It gives me hope.

There's no Days Until app for a nonexistent husband {or boyfriend, for that matter}. for the end of infertility. for healing. for answered prayers. for the return of a prodigal child. for restoration. for freedom from addiction.

Funny enough. I think of God having a Days Until app for each of us for whatever has us in our waiting place. Because that's the thing. He knows. That's the assurance we have to hold on to. But the thing about His Days Until app is that it isn't a countdown to us getting exactly what we want. God's Days Until app is a countdown to our ultimate understanding whether that is this side of heaven or the other.

He is working all things for our good and His glory. His ways are not my ways, and my thoughts are not His thoughts. He knows each of our days and has them written in His book before one of them has come to be.

This is an opening to two days of looking at the lives of two women who did a whole lot of waiting and not particularly well which ironically sounds like someone else I know {insert emoji with woman raising her hand}. Sarah and Rachel waited. They know what I mean when I say level two waiting. I hope through looking at them a little closer, we can see the goodness of God especially in the waiting.
  

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

Singing in the Wait // Part Two

Seriously. If you haven't gone and listened to Lauren Daigle's full album, I suggest you stop what you are doing right now and find it. It is worth the time and money. Guaranteed. You won't regret it.

Take the time to listen below. I think we've all been in a place where God hasn't moved a mountain we wanted Him to. He didn't part the waters we wanted to walk through. He hasn't given answers as we cried out to Him. But even so. We will trust in Him.

Trust in You
by Lauren Daigle

Letting go of every single dream
I lay each one down at Your feet
Every moment of my wandering
Never changes what You see

I’ve tried to win this war I confess
My hands are weary I need Your rest
Mighty Warrior, King of the fight
No matter what I face, You’re by my side

When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

Truth is, You know what tomorrow brings
There’s not a day ahead You have not seen
So, in all things be my life and breath
I want what You want Lord and nothing less

When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

You are my strength and comfort
You are my steady hand
You are my firm foundation; the rock on which I stand

Your ways are always higher
Your plans are always good
There’s not a place where I’ll go, You’ve not already stood

When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

This song speaks so much truth into my heart and the exact words I need to hear when I'm struggling in this waiting place. 

I always have to trust God. Always. 

God is trustworthy even when He has us in a waiting place. 

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

Weekend Encouragement // Part Two

Let's wait together.
Weekends encourage my heart like nothing else. I hope your heart can be encouraged as well.
In our wait, let's meditate on these words. on this psalm. on the words of God.

Psalm 27

The Lord is my light and my salvation --
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life --
of whom shall I be afraid?
When evil men advance against me
to devour my flesh,
when my enemies and my foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will I be confident.

One thing I ask of the Lord,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord,
and to seek him in his temple.
For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock.
Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts
of joy;
I will sing and make music to the Lord.

Hear my voice when I call, O Lord;
be merciful to me and answer me.
My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"
Your face, Lord, I will seek.
Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn your servant away in anger;
you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
O God my Savior.
Though my father and mother forsake me,
the Lord will receive me.

Teach me your way, O Lord;
lead me in a straight path
because of my oppressors.
Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me, breathing out violence.

I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.

Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord. 

{**Just as a little extra, that video up above is the song that my best friend, Kayla, and I wrote with/on Psalm 27. It's not great, but it's been a constant reminder for me while I'm learning to redeem this waiting place God has me in.**}

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

When Faith isn't the Problem

Y'all, I got faith out the wazoo. Can I say that in the most humble way possible? Actually, I took a spiritual gifts inventory earlier this year, and it identified faith as one of my primary spiritual gifts. At first, I was a little surprised, but then I started to really think about it.

I've seen God heal my mother from {what all indicators pointed to as} cancer. Complete and total healing. Not once but twice. I've seen God provide money for trip after trip to serve him around the world. Money I didn't have and couldn't have come up with on my own. I've seen miracles with my own two eyes. I've got 10 years worth of prayer journals packed full of answered prayers.

I have no trouble believing in something I can't see. Honestly, it's never been hard for me to believe in God. I have always felt His presence in my life. I have always just trusted that He is there regardless of my feelings. Now hear me when I say, God has very evidently revealed Himself to me through His word, the church, and my everyday life, but what I'm saying is that I've never really been a doubter. I would consider myself an optimist/glass half-full kind of person.

When it comes to waiting, I do not doubt that God will give me an answer. I do not doubt that God's Word is true and that He has a good and perfect plan for my life. I think the big picture comes a little easier to me. It's the little puzzle pieces that I'm waiting on that get me all in a tizzy.

An excerpt from my actual ridiculously humorous unplanned life //

Some money that I was expecting this week didn't come through, and I had already planned to drive home to see my family this weekend. Without the money, I couldn't afford to put any gas in my car. Basically, it would be complicated to find a credit card to put it on. I felt God telling me to just keep driving. My control-freak/OCD/stubborn nature wanted to make a plan. But I just kept feeling this push to keep driving. I had faith that God would get me home on whatever amount of gas that was in my car. Did I feel like this was a hugely impossible thing? Yes. But I also know that what is impossible for man is possible with God.

I know I sound crazy. Yall. I know I am crazy. I am a very self-aware individual. I was driving on E with a healthy amount of faith and fear. This is not like me. I pride myself on always being in control, and I can tell you this was not my ideal situation. Seriously on E.

God and I were having a full-on moment in my car at this point. Half desperation/half tears. I told God that I could run out of gas right there/right then, and I'd still have faith. I wasn't stopping that car. I told him He was gonna have to stop that car, because I wasn't gonna be the girl with no faith. I told him I give up. I give up this facade of control. I told him that regardless of the outcome, I'd still have faith.

And yall. Just as I breathed those words. Just as I said that I give up control, my car started slowing down. I feel my craziness oozing off this page. I know. Then as I sat on the side of the road, I had to make the worst call of all. To my mom. To admit defeat. To admit I don't have anything under control. This was a low point.

But then I restarted my car and made it the next mile to a gas station. I made it.

Let's debrief. This was not the super profound Old Testament "the oil never ran out" moment that I was hoping for. This was a low moment for me, but I realized that I have to keep the faith. I have to let my faith in God carry me through this waiting. Waiting isn't easy for anyone, but I realized in this moment that a lack of faith isn't my problem. My need for control is my problem.

God sure taught me a good lesson last night regardless of how hard it was for me to learn. I gotta cling to faith during this season of waiting. Cling to your faith. Faith will carry us in this waiting place.

Whew. When God sets out to redeem your waiting place, get ready, because He will do just that. Tonight I'm just praying for the faith to take the next step. Just faith for the next step. Whether I can see it or not. I'm gonna use this gift of faith, and take the next step.

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

Waiting Versus Stopping

Waiting has legitimately gotten the worst reputation. {And I'm not saying it doesn't deserve it in part} But I'm asking all of us {me especially} to take a moment and consider if waiting is really as bad as we've made it out to be.

I'm a sucker for relationship, marriage, dating, singleness articles floating around the internet. An absolute sucker. I cannot resist clicking and reading. Sometimes it's beneficial. But sometimes most times I would've been better off not reading it.

I've seen at least 10 called "Stop Waiting for a Husband," "I'm not Waiting for a Boyfriend," "Don't Wait," "Why I Stopped Waiting for a Husband," and etc. The list probably goes on and on.

I just need for us to define what kind of waiting I'm talking about here. A few days ago, I shared why I believe we all hate waiting in the context of a waiting room. A waiting room mentality really implies stopping of all else going on. Although waiting can feel like that at times, that's not the kind of waiting I'm doing.

We are all waiting for something. No matter what we are waiting for {job, financial freedom, children, missions, future, healing, answers}, it is incredibly rare that all other parts of our life have to be put on hold. Despite the waiting, we keep living.

Waiting and stopping life are not mutually exclusive. Because if it was, I don't think God would have put wait in the Bible almost 90 times? Yep, I searched it on a Bible tools website. 90 times. 

I am waiting. I'm living my life one day at a time. Being obedient to what He is calling me to do, but still I'm waiting. Not locking myself away in a castle tower sitting on the windowsill keeping watch for my Prince Charming {because we all know I'm done with the Prince thing}. Not shutting down and pushing people away. 

I'm serving in every possible way that I can, because singleness allows me the flexibility and ability to do just that. Yes, I have a problem with saying no, but life as a single gives me the opportunity to say yes to things I might not be able to otherwise. 

Wait. But in the wait, live. While you're living, serve. While you're serving, love. And still wait for the Lord. 

I don't know about any of you poor souls that are actually reading my crazy mess of a blog, but God is already redeeming this waiting place of mine.  

Praise the Lord. 

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

Wait Interrupted

There was a time when I actually felt like I was pretty good at waiting. You see ... I had never been in any form of a relationship with a guy. Sure, I had crushes, but never had any one ever shown interest toward me.

I had no idea what it was like to have a boyfriend {but really ... I still don't}. I had no idea what it was like to feel special, beautiful, wanted, important {and really ... maybe I still don't}. I didn't know what I was missing. I had never met someone whom I thought I could see myself marrying. Waiting was bearable, because I just didn't know. 

Side note soap box // {why do I always feel the need to give these?} Regardless of HOW {yes OR no} God answers my prayers for a husband and family, I'm still technically waiting for an answer. This waiting, in my opinion, is not the same as putting my life on hold just because I'm not married. I am waiting not stopping. Maybe I'll go into that in more detail in a future blog post.

Anyway, back to the waiting. It wasn't until I was twenty-four years old that I actually went on my first "date." And prior to this, I had genuinely convinced myself that I would never go on a date and never get married solely because it was apparent to me that no guy would ever want to go on a date with me or marry me. This is sounding pretty pitiful and that's not my intention. haha. ... moving on. All that to say, it's harder{still possible but harder} to miss/long for something you've never had. Waiting up to this point wasn't so bad.

It wasn't until my wait was interrupted by a boy that things started getting more complicated. I was in uncharted territory having feelings and thoughts that I had honestly never thought I would/could have.

I could see myself marrying this guy.
I have never felt this special in my entire life.
This guy has everything I wanted in a husband. 
Is the wait over?
Is this it?
Has God given me a yes?

Hope had exploded and these thoughts and questions were only the tip of the iceberg for me. But sometimes things just don't work out. Sometimes no matter how hard you try, you have to just let things go when they aren't working like they should be. Sometimes things get more and more complicated leaving you with the hardest decision of all to completely sever ties.

My wait was interrupted with hope. But hope then turned into disappointment. After feeling such hope, going back into my waiting place has been exceptionally challenging. {note//this is when the dwelling really starts to sabotage}

So the struggle is right here. There's no going back to my naivety from before. Now I have to reconfigure my entire view of this waiting place stuff.

Dealing with all of those feelings post-"crazy marriage thoughts" has been harder than I ever thought they would be. Truly they hit me at the strangest moments. Just last night, I woke up in the middle of the night and was suddenly hit with these crazy feelings. Trying to learn from my own blog post yesterday, I decided not to dwell on them. Instead I started reciting the lyrics to one of my favorite hymns.

Great is thy faithfulness
Great is thy faithfulness
Morning by morning
New mercies I see
All I have needed
Thy hand hath provided
Great is thy faithfulness
Lord unto me

This. This truth. If I believe this like I say I do, it should reflect in my life. If God is faithful, He will never leave me or forsake me. If God is faithful, He will stand by His promises.

God is faithful. Even in this waiting place.

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

Confession // I'm a Dweller

Like right now. Today. I'm dwelling on the fact that I had this stupid post all written out, and all of google decided to malfunction losing everything I had written. I'm dwelling on what was. On what this post is never gonna be now. On what I won't be able to recreate. It's only bringing me down. way down.

I am a pro at dwelling. And in this waiting place I'm in, it only seems to magnify the dwelling I was already so good at.

Dwelling on the unknown. the future. the possibilities. the hardships. the difficulties. the words someone said to me. or even the words someone didn't say. the situation I'm in. the million and one things running through this crazy brain of mine.

If nothing else, I know how to dwell on things I shouldn't.

I'd like to say that this is a girl thing. But the truth is that it is a sin thing.

I would love to sugar coat this and say it's harmless, but in my waiting place, dwelling can take me to some pretty dark places. It's a lack of control over my thoughts, and God very clearly states in His word over and over again where our thoughts should be.

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things.

Colossians 3:1-2
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

I can sit here and drive myself insane running the same scenario through my brain over and over again. When we are waiting on God, the enemy wants us to dwell on what we don't have. He wants us to dwell on what could have been and what isn't. He wants to paralyze us by helping us dwell in the pity and self-seeking mindset.

I won't allow this. No more. I choose instead to dwell on truth. Choosing to dwell on the truth of God during times of waiting is my number one step toward redeeming this waiting place of mine.

God is for me not against me. God loves me and wants good things for me. God watches over me and protects me. God provides for me and sustains me. God never fails me. He only withholds from me when He knows better, has better things in store, and will receive more glory in a different ending.

Dwelling on truth will redeem our waiting places.

No more lies. Only truth. No more fantasies. Only truth. No more sabotage. Only truth.

Let's choose to dwell on truth today.

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

Window into my Waiting Place

What are you waiting on?
What does your waiting place look like?
Is it dark or light?
Is it big or small?
Is it filled with joy or fear?
Is it easy or hard?

Those are hard to answer, you say. Well, let me answer them for you from my perspective real quick.

A husband.
Dingy. Ugly.
Dark.
Claustrophobic.
Fear.
Hard.

That's how I currently see/feel about my waiting place.

But my goal in this 31 day challenge is to push the borders out. Tear down those tiny, little walls. Take a sledge hammer to that ceiling bearing down on me. Open up the windows and let the fresh air and sunshine flow in and around me. Send that fear back where it belongs in the pit of hell. & take a deep sigh of relief that what was once hard and painful has become a place of rest and solace.

I'm here to allow God to redeem my waiting place.

Just to put a name to my current waiting place // it's singleness. Before I get too far into this challenge, let me give a little disclaimer. I honestly and fully believe that it is possible for God's plan for my life to always include singleness. I am completely aware that this could be my forever waiting place. That is something that I have to address as a part of redeeming my waiting place. If I'm gonna be in this forever, I'd hate to look back and think I wasted so much time just sitting around waiting for God to drop a husband {who does not exist) in my lap. And even so, if it is God's plan for me to marry, I want to ensure that I step out of this waiting place knowing that I made the most of it and God was glorified.

Our waiting places don't define us though. I have jumped on this soapbox many times in the past, and this is no exception. I will not allow any earthly label/thing define me. Only Jesus has the right to do that. This is why I feel so strongly about redeeming the waiting place. I'm tired of sitting in the dark commiserating my woes. If I'm gonna be camping out in this waiting place for awhile, I might as well start decorating, working on the layout, adding some pillows ... instead of pacing a sterile, concrete box anticipating my breakout moment. 

The truth is ... waiting definitely seems to get harder with each day that passes. I can't be the only one who feels this way.  But I'm diving in headfirst to this waiting mess and hopefully in the end, something {dare I say, Me?} will come out beautiful.

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}