31 Days Later {Year Two}

31 days sure fly by when you are blogging every day.

Redeeming the Waiting Place has absolutely been harder than I dreamed possible. The challenge of blogging for 31 days straight was way less hard this year, but the subject matter definitely dug deep into my heart this time around.

I really do believe God when He says He has good plans for me. That He will never leave me. That there is a purpose in this waiting. That He is in control.

So take away from this Redeeming the Waiting Place/Write31Days Challenge is ....

| drum roll please |

God is good and right and true and hope and light. Especially in the waiting.

My waiting place isn't much fun right now. But I am determined to make this season as fun as I can.

I'm feeling very thankful today. Thankful for the people God has put in my life. I'm thankful for the friend who text me last night inviting me over for dinner even though I had to say no. I'm thankful for people in my life who care about me and who love me well. I'm thankful for people who are patient with me even when I have crazy bad blonde moments. I'm thankful for my life here in NOLA.

I'm thankful that God has placed me in this season with these people.

I couldn't ask for any better of a waiting place.

Bumps in the road and all.

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

One Day the Waiting will be Over

In this world, we will all wait. If you've read even just one post of this series, you've read these words before | Waiting is inevitable |.

The reality is that we, as Christians, are all waiting for the second coming of Jesus.

And because He is coming, the wait will one day be all over.

There will be a day when we will no longer be waiting on any earthly want/need. No more waiting for a significant other, spouse, child, healing, answers, or change. We will wait no longer.

Our minds will no longer desire for things we don't have. We will be wholly fulfilled and satisfied in the person of Jesus. No more sin to distract us from worshiping our Savior.

Y'all, I look forward to that day.

I think about it now, and I know in my heart of hearts that Jesus is all I need. But there's always that sin sucking me back in. Making me think I need more. That I need a husband and family. That I actually need anything this world has to offer.

Nothing compares to Jesus, but until that day. Until that day when Jesus ends the waiting, I will always long for more because I've got this sin problem. This sin problem stinks. And Jesus paid the price. My sins are forgiven. But I'm still human, and I am still in this tug-o-war with sin. Wanting to only want Jesus. Wanting to not let my emotions control me. Wanting to live more like Jesus, but I fall short. I will always fall short.

Until that day. Until Jesus comes back for the Church.

The difference is that I will never stop pulling. I will never stop struggling against that sin. I may have been extended the most scandalous grace by none other than Jesus himself to cover those, but I will fight sin until the day He comes back.

So I will fight that sin in my heart that tells me that I am not complete in Jesus. that God doesn't want me to be happy. that God is withholding something from  me. that causes my attitude to fall into the pits.

Until that day. I will fight to keep my heart and life on track with Jesus.

Because one day the waiting will be over.

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

Waiting is Better than Settling

One thing that I always end up having to do on this blog is some good ole backtracking. Sometimes I take a look at my blog posts as a whole and think | woah, this accidentally went a little to the extreme |. For example, I have suddenly started to realize that it sounds like I really want to get married and by tomorrow. But I just need to be real, and let you all know that is not fully true.

Yes. I want/desire to be married. One day. In the future. But Lord help, not tomorrow and not even necessarily in the next year. Waiting and not knowing is hard, but that does not mean that I think I am fully ready for marriage. I am certain that if God's plan for my life does include marriage, there is still a whole lot of refining that needs to happen. Also don't get me wrong and assume that I think I will ever have it all together or that anyone does before they get married.

Being independent and self-serving for almost 27 years {ahh but we're not gonna talk about my recent freaking out about that number and my upcoming birthday} has ingrained in me some pretty strong habits and tendencies that will not be easy to break or even work on for that matter.

I'm probably sounding a little bipolar at this point considering I've written nearly 28 blog posts {plus the ones in the past} about how much I want to be married. But waiting in singleness is much preferred to settling for less than God's best. I will not marry someone just because I want to be married. The only way I will get married is if I have clear and full confirmation from God. My desire for marriage is outweighed by my desire for God's best.

So shouldn't these thoughts and this knowledge make the waiting easier? Absolutely. It should. But it doesn't always. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, and it takes constant vigilance over our mind and thoughts to continue replacing earthly thoughts with God thoughts.

A lot of people will say | oh, just choose somebody. It doesn't matter. There are plenty of fish in the sea |. But I can't necessarily line that up with God's character and the intricate details He daily works out in my life. I believe the Lord has me single for a reason during this time. I know He is using me right here and right now to glorify Him and further His kingdom.

Just because I don't particularly enjoy waiting for marriage doesn't mean that I'm ready to get married tomorrow. To be clear, I have issues. I am selfish. and I am still in need of some work on my heart to even be ready for that huge step. Because I do not take marriage lightly. Marriage to me is a God-binding covenant that is more than in sickness and health, rich and poor, and so on. To me, marriage means God bringing together two individuals starting a team to take the Gospel into all parts of the world. If marriage would only slow that goal down of taking the Gospel to all the world, then I'll keep my singleness.

I'm pretty crazy, huh? I know. I know. It's just that my life has been so transformed by God and the Gospel. Jesus died on a cross to save the world {me and you} from their sins. I was once an orphan, but now I am adopted into the family of God. I was once lost, but now I am found. I was once blind, but now I can see. I was once in utter darkness, but now I walk in the light. I was dying and going to hell, but now I have been saved by grace and am alive. I have my citizenship in heaven.

My waiting has a purpose. I just want to worship him right where I am. His plan is worth waiting for. Every single second. I'm not settling for anything other than God's best. I'm waiting here. 

Waiting here for you // With our hands lifted high in praise // And it's You we adore // Singing Hallelujah // You are everything You promised // Your faithfulness is true // And we're Desperate for Your presence // All we need is You // Waiting here for you.

I'm waiting here. As long as God wants me here. 

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

Be Real in the Waiting

Why do we always feel the need to put on a good face?

Why are we always trying to hide our pain? hide our struggles? hide our frustrations?

Heaven forbid someone thinks we don't have it all together. Or that we don't live a perfect life. Newsflash // Nobody's perfect.

Why do we always think that we are the only ones struggling? That's because we all try to hide our struggles in the darkness. Keep those skeletons in the closet, because Satan has convinced us that bringing them into the light of day, into the light of Jesus, will only bring shame and more pain. But that is a lie.

Only Jesus can shed light into those dark places, when we lay it out there to share with each other. 

Vulnerability brings its own kind of strength. Its own kind of bravery. Its own kind of peace.

If everyone didn't struggle, there wouldn't be songs written like this one. This Casting Crowns' song // Just Be Held //

Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you holding on

And when youre tired of fighting
Chained by your control
Theres freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go

So when youre on your knees and answers seem so far away
Youre not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your worlds not falling apart, its falling into place
Im on the throne, stop holding on and just be held

If your eyes are on the storm
Youll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
Youll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted
In time, youll understand
Im painting beauty with the ashes
Your life is in My hands

Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where youll find Me
And where you are, Ill hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who wont let go

This song has been on the radio every single time I've gotten into the car since Monday. You think God is trying to tell me something?  I think so too.

We are never alone in our struggling. All I have to say about those struggles is // Lay 'em down and let 'em go. 

I'm just resting in these truths today. 

This week is halfway over, and this blogging challenge is on the home stretch. Just three more days. 

Oh buddy. God's not finished with me yet.

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

Struggles in the Waiting

There are good days. There are bad days.

Welcome to a bad one.

You would think that after 27 days of blogging about this topic that I might be a little closer to actually redeeming the waiting place. But I'm not. And really I don't even know if this blog post pertains to my waiting at all. Because today I'm struggling with just life. Life in general. And maybe somehow I will bring this back around to waiting but then again maybe not.

When things are going my way, and I'm doing fun things with my people ... Yes, waiting seems easy. But then those bad days {which genuinely are less frequent than the good days} when nothing is going my way, I'm an emotional mess, holding it together means fighting off an anxiety attack, the craziness overwhelms me, and the mess that is my life gets messier, the waiting just seems to be too much. 

Yall. I feel so silly even talking this way. Because there are much bigger problems in this world than what I've got going on. I go back and forth between minimizing and maximizing my problems, but I need to find a healthy balance.

For those who don't know, I wear my heart on my sleeve. This is actually a new thing for me. Over the last year, I truly learned the value and importance of open communication and real honesty. It has been liberating. Really. But the other side of that is that it has opened me up to a whole lot of hurt that I never even knew possible. Because not every one chooses to be as open and honest as I do, and assumptions are deadly. Despite my new found appreciation for being open and honest, I think it would be wise of me to keep that for people who respect it and who value me as a person and friend. Gauging my audience should be a priority. Otherwise, I will just end up always having my feelings hurt.

Also another character flaw is that I don't possess the ability to say no. Lysa Terkeurst's book, The Best Yes, is currently sitting on my nightstand unread. A lot of good it's doing me there. I honestly think this stems from my desire to have everyone like me. That's always been a thing for me since before I can remember. I would rather be a door mat and have everyone like me than to say no and risk someone being upset with me. But saying no is healthy when done in the right way. I just haven't figured out the right way yet. It's sad when people who aren't even actively a part of my life anymore nonchalantly mention that I've always been this way and continue to be a pushover.

Because of these two things, here I was wallowing in self-pity and a whole lot of hurt feelings. For the first half of the day. I just sat in it. Not even trying to shake it or to make things right in my heart. It was ugly. Oh Lord, my heart was calloused.

But here's the thing. I cannot blame any one but myself. I am the only one allowing this. It is up to me to determine the state of my heart. My lockscreen on my phone says |today, I choose joy|. Pssh. That's hilarious. Joy is the last choice I've wanted to make today. I put it there to remind me in moments like these, but it is more of a moment by moment decision I am having to make today to have that joy.

Am I the only one who feels this way? Am I the only one who gets so stuck that it feels like I'll never get out? Can I just share my burden today? Anyone else out there need to share the burden? Anyone else out there tired of carrying their burden alone?

What is it worth? Holding onto that burden on your own? Is it worth the hard stuff that comes with that? I don't think it is. We will never find peace in our storms if we don't allow others to help us carry our burdens. If we don't release it all to Jesus.

Waiting. Not waiting. Hurting. Struggling. Needing. Whatever your burden is, lay it down at the foot of the cross and let the body of Christ be the body for you. Let your people help you pick that up and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Just because I wrote this blog post doesn't mean my problems are automatically fixed. Far from it actually. But no matter the struggle, I know I have Jesus. And I know that He has given me people in my life to held me keep walking in the footsteps of Jesus.

I want to leave you with an excerpt of verses from Colossians 3:12-17 // Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

Yep, that pretty much sums it up. My apologies for this crazy mess of a blog. But this is all I got today. I pray someone is encouraged that we all have junk in our lives. Some are just better at hiding it than others. And take heart, I believe we are meant to be broken together. Jesus isn't scared of my brokenness or as I like to call it // my hot mess of a life.

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

Waiting with Gratitude

November is coming. I love this time of year. Something in the air shifts. And I'm not talking about the temperature. It's people. It's attitudes. Just for a month or two, everyone starts slowing down and appreciating the little things | religious or not.

The difference with my faith in Jesus and those who have no belief system is that I know the true source of the blessings in my life. It is undeniably Jesus.

When we take the time to thank God for every single little thing He has given us, it makes it all the harder to focus on what we don't have.

I've actually never done the thankful posts each day of November, but it is refreshing seeing more positive things on social media for like 20 something days of the year. Enjoy it while it lasts.

I mean even the smallest of things.

Each day there is unlimited potential to find a million and one things to be thankful for. But we have to have our eyes open to see them.

Oh Jesus, thank you.

With my heart full of gratitude, I can find no place for discontentment. There's no room for worry. There's no room for fear. There's no room for anxiety.

I want to fill my heart so full with gratitude that I overflow with Jesus.

Waiting with gratitude is the only way to wait //

God,
Thank you for raindrops on the window.
Thank you for the gift of blooming flowers on the coffee table.
Thank you for pictures of friends and family on the refrigerator.
Thank you for old books with worn covers and deep history.
Thank you for emojis.

And even more so //

God,
Thank you for family.
Thank you for life.
Thank you for air to breathe.
Thank you for friendship.
Thank you for the cross.
Thank you for salvation.

God, just thank you.

I will redeem this waiting place with gratitude.

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

Singing in the Wait // Part Four

I just want Jesus. I need daily reminders that I need for nothing other than Jesus. I am complete in Jesus. I have all that I need in Jesus. This is my daily prayer. 

Give Me Jesus

by Moriah Peters

In the morning when I rise
Give me Jesus

Give me Jesus
You can have all this world
Give me Jesus

And when I am alone
Give me Jesus

Give me Jesus
You can have all this world
Give me Jesus

When I come to die
Give me Jesus

You can have all this world
Give me Jesus

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

Weekend Encourgement // Part Four

From Lifeway & SheReadsTruth:

Open Your Bible is the first Bible study partnership with She Reads Truth and LifeWay Women. This means that we are taking the best of both worlds and melding them into a study that we think women will love.

The study is seven sessions long (meaning, if you do this in a group, you will meet seven times). It has six weeks of personal study (or "homework," but who likes that term?). Each week of the study will have you diving deep into Scripture to discover truths about God's Word from God's Word. This is a print-only study. It will not be on the She Reads Truth website.

There are optional video sessions that go with each week of study. These video sessions are around 10 minutes each and feature Raechel and Amanda discussing truths they've learned along the way. We recommend them for going deeper in the study. They will be available via download for group or individual use from LifeWay.com/OpenYourBible.

To get a preview of the study and learn more about the format, you can go to LifeWay.com/OpenYourBible and click "Free Sample Chapter." That will give you a PDF of the first session of the study.

We are excited about this study because we have been praying for a way to teach women to get in the Word for a long time. She Reads Truth does a great job of that already and we are so thrilled to work with them on this. We hope you love it, too!

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I am so excited to get this Bible study and dig deeper into God's Word. I hope that even just one person will take this opportunity to fall more in love with the Word. 

Let's study the Word and wait together.

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

Worship Through Waiting

Back to traffic and waiting. It's Friday {praise the Lord}, so my thought process is struggling. Bear with me. Remember my alternative route to avoid traffic and choosing to avoid certain pitfalls in order to keep peace in my heart while waiting?

Well, one of those things is podcasts. It's miraculous how different I feel when my mind is occupied with the podcasts. So I've taken up listening to different Christian authors and some sermons. Sermons are definitely harder to follow while driving, but it most definitely works to keep me focused on God instead of the crazy traffic and waiting.

Well, today, I took my alternate route, AND I listened to a sermon. win win.

The sermon I listened to on the way home was on Romans 12:1 // Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. {NIV, emphasis mine}

It just really got me to thinking about my life and my waiting place. Two corresponding points really stood out to me.

One. We are to offer ourselves as living sacrifices.

The preacher brought out the aspect of a sacrifice and the origination of sacrifices meant the slaughter of animals. That means there's nothing left. There's not life in that animal once its blood atoned for the peoples' sins. Offering myself means to empty me of all things me, so God can fill me up with all things Him. I am to live my life daily sacrificing my wants and even needs for His sake. For the glory of God.

Two. Offering ourselves as living sacrifices is our true act of worship.

And through this is where we come to worship. Our daily living is to be worship. Running through City Park with the wind blowing against my face is worship. Sitting in my bed meditating on the Word of God is worship. Singing praise songs at the top of my lungs in my car is worship. We worship through our daily sacrifice of ourselves.

Really, this sounds like old hat. Something I should have down by now, but this played out in my life should in and of itself redeem my waiting place. If I am emptying myself. If am laying down my wants and needs down on the altar each day. If I am truly sacrificing for God and the Gospel, the waiting has a purpose. The waiting is about so much more than just me wanting a husband and family. The waiting is about seeing more made out of Jesus.

I live each day to worship God. Not to check another day of singleness off the calendar. I really have to look deep into my heart and soul and examine what my true motives are here.

What am I living for? Marriage/Family or the Gospel?
Who am I living for? Myself or God?

I have a choice to make. Redeeming the waiting place means choosing the Gospel over marriage. Choosing God over myself.

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

Rachel Waited

As promised over a week ago. Rachel Waited. Oh Rachel. Sarah had her issues. And we're gonna see that Rachel had her issues too. Waiting is hard regardless of whether or not your life is forever penned in the first book of the Bible. 
 
Can we just talk about for a second that Rachel's first recorded words in the Bible are this // Genesis 30:1 // "Give me children, or I'll die!" Now you'll not find any judgement here, because I seem to remember a 21 year old Jenna saying something similar about a boyfriend/husband to God.

I'm gonna use my writing liberties to joke about the thought of Rachel in heaven with God asking him if it was really necessary for those to be her first recorded words for all Christians to read for all earthly time. I can just hear her saying to God // Really? Of all the things I said? That's what you picked to use?

It just makes me laugh thinking about it. Rachel was in a bad place. This man whom she loved, Jacob, had been deceitfully given to her sister, Leah, in marriage first despite his profession of love and commitment of marriage to Rachel. Not only that, despite Jacob's overwhelming preference and favoritism toward her, she was overcome by jealousy, hurt, and shame when Leah was able to give Jacob children but she could not.

Rachel was stuck in a waiting place. There are a couple things that we as women seem to really get bent out of shape on {and by "bent out of shape" I just mean pity parties, struggles, discontentment, frustration, hurt, etc ... all valid emotions and feelings about such intimately personal areas of our lives}. And that is marriage and babies. From the beginning of creation when God created Adam and Eve, we have felt as women that our sole purpose seems to be marriage and babies. I'm not getting into gender roles and all that mess, but I can tell you that since I was a small child, I have felt an intrinsic pull toward marriage and children. Strangely, I felt uniquely created for that purpose.

However, I believe God created us to fulfill those purposes in different ways even possibly through just spiritual avenues. I know without a doubt that our worth and value are not directly correlated to our marriage status or ability to have children. We are children of God, and He ordained our steps before one of them came to be. I believe that I can still fulfill my potential as a woman without those things. It is fully up to God how He wants to use my life. He does not make mistakes.

I think Rachel felt this pull though. This intrinsic need to give her husband children. So much so she proclaimed she would die if she didn't. What do we all know to be true? Would she literally die if God did not give her children? No, of course not. But in that waiting place, the pain, frustration, confusion, and hurt were overtaking her ability to see God for who He is and how He works.

And then finally // Genesis 30:22 // Then God remembered Rachel; he listened to her and opened her womb.

I can't sit here and say that God is going to answer my prayers for a husband and family in the way that I want, but I can say with full confidence that God will answer my prayers with His best for me. Through writing this entire post, I keep telling God that this is too deep and I'm not doing it justice, but He just keeps telling me to write.

I know many women who have felt fulfilled through spiritual children just as much as those with physical/biological children. I know that God created us as relational beings who need others. Although marriage is usually our answer to that, I know God can and will fulfill that need in our lives with people without giving us marriage. There have been many moments in my singleness when precious families have taken me in and made me feel more loved and complete than many women ever feel in their marriages.

Both singleness and marriage are important and valuable parts to play in God's greater story. Neither is greater than the other and neither is less. Both can be God's best. So we wait. We wait for God's best to play out in our lives, because we trust Him. Even in the waiting.
 

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

Waiting for Rain in this Drought

Waiting is hard. This goes without saying. Waiting is not for the faint of heart. Waiting does not have a reputation of being fun. It actually has a reputation for quite the opposite. 

Remember how I said I know what can set off all kinds of negative emotions, feelings, and thoughts about singleness/waiting? Well, romantic comedies {also known as chick flicks} are high on that list of things I have had to step back from and only watch in moderation. Those things can for sure put you in a dark place if you're not careful. I know because I've been there.

But I'm gonna make a small exception today to use one of my all-time favorite movie quotes that talks about waiting. Hillary Duff hit the nail on the head with this one. 

via

It's shameful to even admit on here how many times I've seen this movie. Honestly, I probably stink at this waiting so much because of all the romantic comedies and Christian romance fiction that I bombarded my brain with from age 13 to 22. Oops. If only I knew then what I know now. I was so idealistic, and my views on marriage were that God owed me something. That it was my right to be married. I had impossible standards that no real guy could ever meet.

That's neither here nor there. Moving on. I had this exact thought this summer when I was dealing with a particular situation in my life. I was waiting for something to happen. Waiting for a move to be made. I felt every bit of that useless and disappointing part. It felt hopeless. Waiting on Prince Charming {whom, to be clear, I no longer believe in, but for illustration purposes, let's just go with it} legitimately feels like waiting on rain in a drought.

I've never experienced a drought. I'm not a huge fan of rain, so I don't think I would hate a mini-drought. Minus all the bad things that come with that. But I do know for those who have experienced drought, it is not to be taken lightly. Waiting for rain in the midst of such difficult circumstances would seem almost unbearable to me.

Setting aside that real drought now, waiting for God to give an answer for something so incredibly important in my life feels that heavy. Just this weighty anticipation of something I so deeply long for. But the whole purpose of this blog series is me learning that it doesn't have to be useless and disappointing. It is most definitely my choice whether or not this waiting place is useless and disappointing versus useful and joyful.

If your waiting place feels like a drought, there's no relationship, child, answer, no anything that can bring rain to your drought. Only Jesus can do that.

So all I'm saying is ...

Jesus, bring the rain.

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

Just Reach Out

Mark 5:21-42. You know, that Bible story that I never heard as a little girl about the woman in the crowd who was sick. To be more specific, that story about the woman who was bleeding. For 12 years, my friends. {Thank you, Beth Moore, for being the first person I ever heard preach this passage truthfully.}

For 12 years, this woman had lived in what was probably a mixture of shame, pain, fear, confusion, frustration, and dashed hopes.

Her waiting place was healing. Do you think she was jumping for joy and bursting with smiles every day of those 12 years? I would guess there were moments when she wanted to do anything but that. I do plan to take a lot of liberties with this story, but my disclaimer is that despite the lack of details we have in this story, I believe God has laid on my heart a parallel for me in this waiting place I am in. I pray you can give me a little writing grace here.

So let's look a little closer at this woman's story which was so important that God decided to put it in His Holy Word.

Shame. I'm no Bible scholar or historian, but from what I've learned about Bible times is that if you had a sickness or ailment, the majority of people automatically assumed it was sin in your life or family that was causing it. What shame this woman must have experienced from 12 years of feeling that judgement. To the point that I feel like she probably hid herself away from people.

Have you ever experienced shame in your waiting? Maybe I don't have enough faith. Maybe I haven't done enough good things. Maybe it's sin in my life. Maybe I deserve this. Maybe some of those things are true, but I don't believe that is how God works. He gives mercy and grace without end. That's not to say there aren't consequences for our sins and life choices, but God did not create us to live in bondage. He created us to be set free through the blood of Jesus.

Fear. I bet she had some fear. Fear that God would never heal her. Fear that she would suffer from this bleeding for 12 more years. Fear that all she would ever know would be this waiting place.

Have you ever experienced fear in your waiting? Maybe God will keep me in this waiting forever. Maybe God has forgotten me. Maybe I am all alone. None of that is true. God knows every hair on our head. Do you think He could forget the name of His precious daughter much the less the heart of the sweet child of His of whom He knows the number of hairs on her head?

Confusion. I think confusion would have been a daily struggle for her. Can you imagine her confusion over God not healing her? Can you imagine her confusion over 12 long years of waiting? Confusion and just not understanding what God is doing.

Have you ever experienced confusion in your waiting? Why is this happening? When will this end? What did I do to deserve this? What on earth is God doing in my life? But that's a downward spiral of lies. God knows all and sees all. I'm gonna wear this verse out, but His ways and thoughts are so much higher than my ways and my thoughts. He is working things for the greater glory. 

Pain. Frustration. Hopelessness. Sadness.

Have you ever experienced those feelings in your waiting?

Yeah? Me too.

But here's the catch. The woman. She reached out. Past the shame. Past the fear. Past the pain. Past the confusion. Past the frustration. She reached out to touch Jesus. Laying all those feelings aside, she knew she had to touch Him.

We are not bound in those things. We have been set free. I have to claim that freedom here and now. There's no point in putting it off until the wait is over. I want to take hold of the freedom that Jesus has claimed for me today. Smack dab in the middle of my waiting place.

In my waiting, I am gonna take the risk. I am gonna risk exposing my shame, pain, fear, confusion, frustration. I am gonna reach out and touch Jesus. I know I can find healing there. Just reach out.

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

Waitng Well

What if this were my last year being single? What if the waiting will be over in one year? **For the record, I do not believe this is the case.**

{These are BIG ifs, but if I lived as if my waiting had a purpose, how different might things be?}

It wasn't until recently that I really thought through the implications of this statement. I don't know the future. I don't know what will happen tomorrow much less if I will ever actually get married. But this simple question made me re-evaluate some things. Regardless of whether I get married or not, I don't want to have any regrets.

So what if this is my last year being single? What would I do differently? How would I take advantage of this season that God has me in?

It is so easy to lose perspective when being single isn't preferable or necessarily by choice. Trying to process how to live the rest of your life as a single can be ridiculously daunting and overwhelming. Checking each day/month/year off the list like it's just one less day to be single can be mundane and overall seem pointless. So I got to thinking. Let's not think about it in the long term. Let's think about it in the short term.

Maybe God does plan for me to get married one day, and if He does, I want to be prepared. I want to be in a marriage that is God-glorifying, mission-focused, and Gospel-driven. But if not. If marriage is not God's plan for me, all these preparations will not go to waste. Without marriage, I can still be stronger and grow closer to the Lord. The closer I am to God, the more people I can help bring into His kingdom.

I am less motivated by my singleness/desire for marriage as I am my love for God and His Word.

But I wonder if I spend more time focusing on God and less on my lack of a relationship, how could things change for me? How revolutionary could this year be?

How different will I view my waiting place if I am using it to work on my relationship with God? More focused time on God means less focused time on my singleness/waiting place.

It helps my heart to give myself a goal, but in the meantime, the ultimate goal is for God to transform my heart to want Him more than I want to be married.

I'm so type A that it's ridiculous. So naturally, I'm all about goal-setting.

October obviously has been dedicated to redeeming this waiting place God has me in through the Write31Days challenge.

I can say all day long that I want to make the most of this season, but those are just words until I put some action to it. I'm not sure what that's gonna look like month to month, but I'm waiting and listening for God's voice in this matter.

November is already decided though. As I talked about in my Weekend Encouragement // Part Three post, I will be starting a study called In the Wait. I'd love for any one out there waiting for something to join me. Just click here to look into it. Take the plunge. Know that God will honor our attempt to redeem our waiting places.

One hour. One day. One week. One month. One year. At a time. God will carry me through.

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

Singing in the Wait // Part Three

I don't think anyone ever feels brave. At least I don't. But through praying and reading lots of blogs {particularly this one by Aliza who is doing her #write31days series on choosing to be brave}, I've discovered that brave is a choice. Some times I feel like so many things are out of my control like my feelings, my emotions, my struggles, but God is telling me to make that choice, and He'll step in to do the rest. I choose brave. I choose joy. I choose love. These things are not feelings. They are a choice. I trust that once I make the choice, God will do His part.

Moriah Peters is one of my favorite artists, and her music just lifts me up and makes me want to choose brave. Take a listen to this amazing song. I think it will make you wanna be brave too. 

No one ever told me
This would be easy
But I never knew
That it could be this hard
Oh the worry the worry the worry
Is weighing on me
Could you help me break down
All these question marks
And make me ...

I know I know I'm no superwoman
But impossible is possible with You
So no, no, no more running, no more hiding
Strike the fire so I'll be fearless too
And make me ...

None go with me
Still I'll follow
Through the joy
And through the sorrow
Cross before me
World behind me
There's no turning back

Brave  //  I'll fight like a soldier
Brave  //  Rise like a warrior
Brave  //  Won't stop till the final day
Brave  //  I want to be stronger
Brave  //  Gonna be bolder
Brave  //  Look up and I see the way
You make me brave

 

I want to be BRAVE. I'm gonna choose brave. These last two weeks of this challenge are going to be hard. Have I mentioned yet that I am running a half-marathon on October 31? These next two weeks could potentially be the hardest of the entire write31days challenge. But I choose to be brave.

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

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DaySpring.com is celebrating all of the amazing Write 31 Days readers who are supporting nearly 2,000 writers this October! To enter to win a $500 DaySpring shopping spree, just click on this link & follow the giveaway widget instructions. Good luck, and thanks for reading!

Weekend Encouragement // Part Three

Let's wait together.

I don't know about y'all, but I want to take some steps to make the most of this time and learn how to use this time to grow closer to God. I stumbled upon this study, and I am ordering it. Right now.

I'm all about being proactive and learning from others who have learned from their waiting places.

Let's redeem this waiting place together. Check out this awesome Bible study. I'd love to do it together with anyone out there {even just through the internet/technology} who is interested. Let me know.

From Holly Holt's website:

Most of us are all too familiar with the word "wait."

"Wait your turn" and "you just have to wait" are phrases we've heard since we were young. We learn waiting is a part of life, and we begin to accept it. Well, sort of... As we grow older, the seasons of waiting we face tend to get bigger and bigger with a myriad of additional challenges thrown into the mix.

Our lives often weave seamlessly in and out of seasons of waiting. Some seasons are simply annoying, while others are unbelievably stressful and painful. Some are so all consuming that they take our minds hostage allowing us to think of nothing else. We've all been there.

It might be hard to believe that there is a purpose to some of the most difficult, frustrating, and seemingly stagnant times in our lives, but there is.

Together in this study, we will dive deep into Scripture to learn how to live fully alive during seasons of waiting and hardship.

In The Wait is for: 
*Women of all ages who want to build a strong relationship with the Lord 
*Those who find themselves worried, anxious, or overwhelmed by their current season 
*Anyone who dreams of claiming victory and living a joy-filled life

I don't know about y'all. But I'm there. I'm in a place where I want to see a change. I desperately want to change this waiting place into a season of huge growth and joy and love and peace. I want my life to have Jesus written all over it. No matter what that takes.

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

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DaySpring.com is celebrating all of the amazing Write 31 Days readers who are supporting nearly 2,000 writers this October! To enter to win a $500 DaySpring shopping spree, just click on this link & follow the giveaway widget instructions. Good luck, and thanks for reading!

What New Orleans Traffic Taught Me About Waiting

Fridays make me think about traffic. I hate traffic. so much.

Growing up in small town Mississippi, my idea of traffic was having to stop at all 6 red lights between my house and church. Rarely {if ever} did I have to worry about other cars. Traffic just wasn't a thing. Even when my parents moved to North Mississippi right outside of Memphis, I still didn't experience real traffic.

But let me tell you. New Orleans {NOLA} knocks the ball out of the park when it comes to traffic. Lord have mercy. It's the worst. Truly I have never experienced such anxiety than I have sitting in traffic down here.

To clarify, it's not bad everywhere, but the problem is that I work on the West Bank and live on the East Bank. Because of the location of my apartment on the EB and my school on the WB, the route I have to take is the Crescent City Connection Bridge. On the way to work is fine, but on the way home is quite possibly the worst traffic on planet earth {okay, not really because I saw a video from a traffic jam in Beijing and let's be real I'm also being somewhat dramatic}. But it is bad. I work only about 4 to 5 miles from my school, but it can take me over an hour {like yesterday} to get home.

I hate the stopping and going. I hate the turtle poking. Oh the anxiety and stress that builds inside of me. Some days are worse than others. Some days it doesn't bother me at all, and some days I feel like I am going to start ripping my hair out. It feels so nonsensical to just sit there in that traffic. There's no obvious reason other than too many cars trying to all go the same way obviously. I feel like I am wasting precious and valuable time of my life just sitting there. I'm stuck. There's nowhere to move. There's nowhere to go. I'm just stuck.

Sound familiar?

Sounds a little like all my pity parties in this waiting place. Frustration. Irritation. Confusion. Anxiety. Stress. Wasting valuable time. etc.

Just this year {a year after enduring that craziness}, I discovered an alternate route. It is actually probably a little longer on the mileage side, but the difference is unbelievable. It can literally lake me the same amount of time if not shorter to go the longer distance on the Huey P. Long Bridge. There's no stop and go. It's just slow and steady. There is zero anxiety.

Such a simple choice. Taking the Huey P versus the Crescent City Connection. Knowing myself well enough to know that this one little decision can spare me of so much anxiety and stress.

So what on earth does this have to do with redeeming my waiting place? Oh it has every thing to do with redeeming my waiting place.

I have no control over how long I'm gonna have to wait for an answer for whether or not I will ever marry, but regardless, this is still my journey to walk. This is still my waiting place. Because I choose to wait on God, there's no getting out at this point unless He so chooses that for me. Just like I have to drive home one way or the other every day. I have to make that drive, but it is up to me which route I take.

There comes a point where I have to make some conscious decisions to spare myself any unnecessary or extra anxiety/stress. So I had to stop reading Christian romance novels. So maybe I should stop watching TLC's Say Yes to the Dress. I know the things that can automatically set off my heart into no-man's land. I know what will cause my mind to have anxious thoughts.

I want to make the most of every season of my life. I would rather spend this waiting time anxiety-less and stress-less. I only have these days and this season once. God is using even this. It's my choice how I spend my time in this waiting place.
 

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}

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DaySpring.com is celebrating all of the amazing Write 31 Days readers who are supporting nearly 2,000 writers this October! To enter to win a $500 DaySpring shopping spree, just click on this link & follow the giveaway widget instructions. Good luck, and thanks for reading!

Do {the WAIT} Big + GIVEAWAY

We're halfway there. And here I am again. Slacking. I need one more day of grace. We are gonna talk about this waiting place stuff, but I'm feeling a different  and short spin at this late hour.

Real life is this // you can plan all the live long day, but in the end, God's plan prevails. I had some big plans this week. Maybe big isn't the right word, but ultimately, I saw this week going a certain way. 

Ha.

 It went nothing like I expected it too. At this point, I think my body has decided that sleep is never going to come, so it might as well just do without. 

This week // work has been crazy. life has been crazy. everything has been crazy. But strangely I would put it in the good kind of crazy category. 

Satan has been intently attacking my calling recently which has really had me in a funk. But something has shifted this week. I feel reassured. I feel stronger. I feel like God is drawing me in deeper to Himself. I feel overwhelming peace.

This waiting place stuff doesn't seem so bad. Ironically, it's feeling kind of fun right now. This month of October in year 2015 is going to be one for the books. It is going to be one that I look back on 20 years from now and think // that is when it all changed. And I'm a-okay with that. Some good change is necessary in this waiting place. 

The more fun, adventurous, spontaneous, exciting, uncharacteristic things I can find to do, the better. Because I am unattached and free to do so many things that I never dreamed I could do. I don't want to waste a single day. I think that's where God is leading me these last two weeks {after we talk about Rachel as promised of course}. God is showing me what it means to wait well. 

Bottom line // it's all about Jesus. My life is all about Jesus. This blog is all about Jesus. 

Let's see where Jesus takes us second half of this journey.  

Also ... SURPRISE ... keep reading. 

     
 

DaySpring.com is celebrating all of the amazing Write 31 Days readers who are supporting nearly 2,000 writers this October! To enter to win a $500 DaySpring shopping spree, just click on this link & follow the giveaway widget instructions. Good luck, and thanks for reading!
 

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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}