If You're Single & You Know It

you're probably not gonna clap your hands. I know my singleness doesn't typically never make(s) me want to clap much less be happy.

But. You had to know there was a but coming. In this write 31 days challenge, my end goal was contentment in my singleness. I haven't talked about it as of yet only because God has taken this in directions I never planned. I got a little sidetracked along the way with all the other areas of discontentment that God revealed to me. How delightful for me. What I've learned is that all these areas spill over into each other. When I choose joy and contentment in one area, it automatically overflows into the next area. No matter how many areas of discontentment I find, the answer never changes. God was/still is/always will be the only means to the end {contentment}.

The other night I was watching a wedding video {you know just to torture myself. however if you are in the wedding planning phase of life, please look into my sweet friend's company, Sami Sue Studios. you won't regret it. She is amazingly talented.} and sat there at the end of it with very mixed emotions {possibly fighting off tears}. I so wish/long/desire for that to be the phase of life that God has planned for me right now. I get emotional because it's beautiful. the love. the happiness. the joy. the commitment. the symbolism. the covenant. the picture of the Gospel. I love watching/celebrating/enjoying weddings for these reasons. But I also get emotional because there are so many things in my life that I think are within my control {italics note sarcasm} yet this is not one of them. Never has been and never will be. It makes my {stereotypical girl brain} so crazy with imaginary scenarios and elaborate fantasies of what my fictional wedding would look like. Back to reality. It's not real.

I really do have conflicted feelings about this. I am thankful for my singleness {I know you probably don't believe me}, but I truly am. Every time I drive cross state at the drop of a hat. or go for a run at the park with no accountability. eat a smart one for dinner. plan a trip out of the country for three weeks. sit at home in my comfy pjs watching endless hours of netflix. On the other hand, the battery on my car clicker thing is low and I don't know what to do to fix it. my car needed the oil changed and men are not nice to single females entering men's territory. going to weddings by myself.

The only way to find contentment in my singleness is to find my contentment in Jesus. Here I am. 25. single. so what.

I am abundantly thankful for the life that I've been given. for the source of contentment that I have found in Jesus.

Abba Father, my Prince of Peace, Lover of my Soul, singleness isn't/wasn't my choice, but singleness is worth it with You. I couldn't/can't do this alone. I need you to fill every desire/longing of my heart. Create in me a new heart that seeks contentment in You and You alone.  

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

{This series is a part of a writing challenge given by the nester, Myquillyn Smith, to write for 31 Days. You can check the write31days website out here and enjoy hundreds of other bloggers joining together for this challenge. My posts are a part of my personal topic choice of 31 Days of Contentment, and you can find the link for the entire series here.}